Last week, my friend Kaelah posted a picture of a tattoo that was the last line of a poem I really love, so I wanted to share it. It's by my very favorite poet, ee cummings. Some of his other poems appear to be jibberish, and he always breaks all the rules of capitalization, punctuation, and grammar, but its part of why I love him. There's meaning behind all the madness. And this one is just so beautiful to me. I'm not a big poetry person, so it takes a lot for me to love. And this, I love.
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
ee cummings
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most fragile gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose
or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
I know everyone is so ready for spring. Well. Besides me. And I've heard a lot of people yearning to wear spring clothing, which is understandable, but I'm still just too in love with layering. Thought I'd give some winter weather wardrobe inspiration to try to last you!
So I got a haircut today. And I am in LOVE with it! I look so different, it's so far away from anything I've ever done before, but it has put me in such a good mood! Getting an awesome haircut is such a confidence boost.
from weheartit.com
"I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls."
I have this thing. It gets me into trouble. Trouble, as in I'm running out of room in my cabinets and I could never have enough house guests to warrant their numbers. I have this thing... for coffee mugs. Especially vintage ones. But every once in awhile a brand new one catches my eye. I had been eyeing one that came out at Starbucks around Valentine's Day, and saw it marked down yesterday morning. Now. Once upon a time there was this mug that looked like a sweater... and I refrained. And I still think about it to this day. It was the one that got away. So I wasn't passing this one up. I'm in love.
Note the nail polish. Which is also new. OPI's Alpine Snow. I've never done the white nail thing but I think I like it. It's just kind of refreshing.
Things are looking up. I think some big things may be in reach. And I've made a decision to start working towards the things that aren't yet. Even though there are other parts of my life that have to be a priority right now (read: school), I think that whatever minimal time I can spend on my further away dreams is worth it. I think it will make me happier to feel like I'm doing something about it. And maybe even inspire me more in the everyday. I'm sorry I'm being vague. There are things I'm not yet allowed to talk about for trademarking and legal reasons, and things that honestly I'm not ready to talk about. Not as openly as a blog at least. But that will be a step. So one day. Hopefully soon.
This has been an unbelievably busy week. And not a good one besides that. It included multiple all nighters, which set me up for being slightly more mentally fragile anyway. My grandfather had surgery and we also found out a close family friend has cancer. So with that on my mind as well as projects due this week and the biggest freaking exam I've ever taken in my life in Art History, I just was not in the best spirits. So of course something else had to go wrong. Let's see how many things we can pile on at once, right? Well. Earlier in the week I pulled my shoulder out of joint. Uh. Yeah. It's not a pleasant experience. I have abnormal, hyper flexible joints that can dislocate much easier than the average person. So unfortunately, this is not a first. Not by any means. I've lost count how many times it's happened to my knee caps. Yeah. It's gross. I just slide stuff back into place pretty easily now. It doesn't get any less painful, but I have a pretty high tolerance for it. It's not like it happens all the time. It varies. Sometimes I go a year without an incident, some years there's a few. So anyway. It's only happened a few times to my shoulder, but it was all to my left one, and I actually had to have surgery several years ago after tearing the cartilage that the ball of your shoulder joint sits in. So this time it was my right shoulder. For the first time. And it happened while I was trying to get a sweatshirt up over my head. Yeah. That's how retarded my joints are. Anyway. Unfortunately attending to personal injury fell down the priority list along with sleep and food, which are regularly knocked from the top by school. Oh the joys of design school. It's like nothing else. Now that the week is over I finally got a chance to see the doctor and take care of myself. I was having trouble just dealing with the pain on this one, especially at night. Shoulder injuries make sleeping difficult. So now I'm fixed up with anti-inflammatories and a little bit of pain medication for night time and I'm hoping the healing will commence pronto. I mean. I should probably wear the sling. But it's just so dang inconvenient... You should probably yell at me if you see me without it. Bleh. I leave you with a photo representation of my cozy night curled up on the couch with my big fluffy flannel comforter. Finally feeling better.
Too bad I don't have my own personal Dr. McSteamy to make me feel better...
One day I'll have a library. And it will smell of books. New ones, and old ones alike. Ones that have seen many shelves, many hands. Shared their story many times. Contributed things to other people's lives. I love the way pages feel. Just a little bit of texture. Crisp pages. The sound they make when they turn. The color they age too. But also when they are fresh, barely opened. I like that color white.
Can you tell I miss reading? I miss having time to read. Even when I have the time now, my mind doesn't slow enough to let me. I used to pour over books. Drive to Barnes and Noble and wander and read a hundred covers until I found one I fell in love with. And I would drive home, barely standing the fact that it was sitting in the seat next to me while I couldn't start it. When I could, I would read it from front to cover. Without stopping. A whole day of reading. Go to sleep satisfied, the story over, or just beginning, maybe.
"A good book should leave you slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading it. " -William Styron
Oh, library. I wish you were mine.
For the color enthusiast. (The pug just makes it even better.)
Look at these shelves!
Now THIS is the right idea. A bed in your library? I think so. What a dreamy place to nap. So serene. And besides that, most awesome guest bedroom EVER. Especially the second one. I want to live in that room.
If I was a pretty pretty princess.
And for my less girly side. (Which is a majority.)
Now just put a giant bed smack dab in the middle, and we have a winner. Ah, that ceiling.
Okay. First, an apology for how long it took me to write this post. (Not the tearful one.) This all starts a couple weeks ago on Monday the 25th.
On Monday afternoon I worked on writing some content for a project at the Starbucks in Downtown Franklin. My mom stopped by because she was in the area and I decided to take her across the street to Sweet Cece's because she hadn't been yet! Well. While we were there, a certain someone also popped in for some icecream.
Taylor Swift! She was such a sweetheart. And loves her some cookie dough, haha. She was in the area doing a video shoot and had a rough day, so she said she thought some Sweet Cece's would make it better. That and a nap. I like her thinking.
Later that night my friend Kaelah saw that there were a bunch of big trucks in The Factory parking lot that had subtle MTV labels on them along with a few giant tour buses. Well. We just couldn't help ourselves. I threw on some clothes and met Kaelah and Kayla at their house along with Kaelah's bf Mike, and we went on a secret snooping mission. It's just a short walk away, so we took a stroll in the freezing cold, you know, no big deal, minding our own business...
We heard music being played and saw large amounts of equipment stacked up inside...
Then we saw a sign directing crew on one of the doors and we knew! This is where they had to be taping the episode of CMT Crossroads with John Mayer and Keith Urban the next night. Which was not open to the public. Psh. Like that matters.
The next night, after alternately working on homework in our school space at The Factory (read: not really doing anything but freaking out that I could faintly hear that glorious guitar playing through the walls but couldn't get into the room it was taking place in) and standing outside in the cold outside the venue, Merissa and I stepped inside a side door so we could hear a little bit better and be warmer. A girl walked by and let us know that we might be able to sneak in without anyone saying anything to us on the balcony. So very quietly and looking like we knew exactly what we were doing, we went up the stairs and through the doors, passed the security guard- who didn't say a thing to us- (we just ran to the bathroom, we've been here the whole time, right?) and got a free show! A free show to see the new love of my life! Tiffany and Kayla soon joined us when they heard where we were. I kid you not, we were 15 feet away from John Mayer. I could have easily jumped off the balcony and into his arms safely if he were willing and paying attention. (Ahh, one day...) The balcony was not that high up at all and they were playing on a raised platform. It was fantastic. And Keith and John played the guitar amazingly together. It just worked. Such a fun night all the way around.
Fast forward to this past Wednesday night. When I had tickets to his actual concert.
I just have to say that it was the most emotional show I've ever been to. And I think the best show besides all of that. He is so extremely talented. I'm sure everyone's heard the stupid controversy about things he said in an interview, and I'm not saying I support what he said. I just think that he was talking out of his ass and is not the least bit racist (He has a giant man crush on Jay-Z for goodness sakes.) But he gave the most honest and sincere apology I have ever heard from anyone in the public eye. Seriously, I think the majority of the 20,000 people there were crying. (I, being one of them.) Here's the apology, I hope if you have ill feelings towards him, whatever its about, you'll see that he has a good heart.
He literally started crying. On a stage. In front of 20,000 people. And then I got to watch him play the hell out of his guitar. While tears streamed down his face. It was so completely moving. Completely fills my heart. And on that note, I think I'll say goodnight.
Soon you will hear of my week last week. A story of snooping and sneaking and secret adventures. And an internationally known, awkward, tattooed man with the cutest smile and hottest guitar skills on this side of I don't even know where.
But until then. I leave you with reds and pinks and hearts and lurveeee.
