Wishful Thinking.

I have a to-do list miles long. But I feel so unmotivated because it seems like I just keep working to cross things off and nothing has fallen off the list so far. In fact, more just gets added! Can you picture with me for a moment a to-do list totally blacked out? Every. Single. Thing. DONE. Ahhh it just makes me feel wonderful. But then I snap back to reality and want to violently scribble all over mine with a sharpie.

Breathe.

If I didn't have a thing in the world to do... this is how the rest of my day would go.

I would take off my chipped polish and paint my nails OPI's No Room For the Blues because, A. I've been wanting to for some time now, and B. It's an appropriate thing to remind myself at the moment. Then I would go to Starbucks where a new cute barista boy would make me a dirty chai or a triple grande caramel macchiato, I can't quite decide, but either would include a smiley face lovingly sketched on the side. I think that may take me to meander through Borders where I'd pull out all the fashion and music magazines and camp out in a cushy chair because that suits my mood today and feels like it might be fulfilling. By the time I'd get ready to leave, the cold rain would have changed to snow, and walking into the parking lot would be magical and calming and serve as any further therapy I needed to put me back into a good mind set. I'd sing at the top of my lungs all the way home and implement my perfected art of car dancing while dreaming up plans to occupy the rest of the night. Music making? Snuggles? Snow angels? Oh, the possibilities.

But instead I'll be running errands and at the school printing and working on projects. I can feel my brain hurting already as I try to dig creativity out of its crevices. I'm pretty sure it packed up and went on some kind of vacation it forgot it was supposed to take me on. That or snuck out during the night while I slept in ignorance. Come back! I'll appreciate you this time. Things will be different, I swear!

Okay. But really. I have to get myself in a better place mentally. I need productivity. Motivation. I need to be so full of optimism, its spilling out my pores. (That sounds gross. Maybe not that full. But you know what I mean.) Let's get excited about design! Fake it 'til you make it. Cue montage of things to make me feel inspired.

❤love.